Time for a bit of a confession.
Without realising it, for ages I've been ignoring a whole side of my character that I shouldn't have been. I hate words like 'womanhood' and 'feminity'. The phrase 'becoming a woman' makes me feel a bit ill. Its not that I've ever wanted to be a boy, or that I hate being a girl. I just always used to question why it has to make a difference if I'm a girl or boy, why can't I just like what I like and think what I think and say what I want to say, and just be a person and not a girl.
I hate the stereotype that girls can be a bit shallow and obsessed with their appearance and over-emotional, and that they spend all of their time shopping or cooing over babies or crying at rom-coms. (The last one is actually true for me, but I cry at every film, I think theres something wrong with me). I've hated that stereotype so much that I've tried hard to avoid it. I've always had a really stubborn attitude towards women's books and women's meetings, and had a bit of a condescending attitude to anything thats normally seen as 'girly', which frankly is just a bit rude and ignorant.
But I'm learning this year that God doesn't want me to forget that He made us in His image, male and female. I can't separate femininity from my personality, and whatever opinions and attitudes and decisions I have should be influenced by the fact that God made me a girl. I'm built a different way. I am going to have certain differences to men, and I can't expect to go through life acting like I'm not a girl.
There are certain character traits that He wants me to cultivate, and not neglect just because I'm afraid that I will get stereotyped as over-emotional or boring or soppy. There are also some things I need to repent of and turn away from, mainly for forgetting that God knew what He was doing when He made me, fearfully and wonderfully. He is the potter, not me.
Whatever kind of person I'm going to grow into over the rest of this year and the rest of my life, I'm still going to be female, so it might be a good idea to read up on what the bible says that should look like. So thats what I've been spending a big part of my time doing since September. And I'm really enjoying going through the qualities of the Proverbs 31 lady in my personal discipleship, and seeing God give me more of a heart for things like home-making and hospitality, gentleness and tenderheartedness.
I really think this is about being more biblical and more Christ-like than trying to be more ladylike, just for the sake of it. Its been a relief to find that letting God transform me into a biblical woman doesn't mean I have to start dressing like something out of Legally Blonde, spending hours every morning co-ordinating hair, clothes and make-up, or crying every time I see a puppy.
I'm learning that it means being a woman who "dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong," who "opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." Along with those little gems, Proverbs 31 also says that:
"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Not a pampered princess, or a butch lady-man with a heart of stone. A wonderful blend of strength and gentleness. That is definitely, without a doubt the kind of lady I want to be. So onwards and upwards eh?
If you'll be in a church somewhere tomorrow like me, enjoy delighting yourself in Him and spending time with your church family. If not, go to one- if you're in Newquay, come to Blaze! Hotel Vic, 11am.
Goodnight,
